Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Mother and Son

Good morning.  This is going to be my shortest blog to date.  
Nothing much happened yesterday.  As usual, I was extremely busy at work preparing for a big presentation with 'She who shall not be named' (for legal reasons) plus because I like my job and want to it keep.  Anyway, that's all happening today and I'm just hoping it all goes smoothly.   
So, apart from a long day at work, all was quiet, well apart from I got home and threw a wobbler at the kids (can I still call them kids when the youngest is nearly 21?)  I love them to pieces, but my god it's like having 4 babies in the house at the moment.  We have a fantastic lady who comes to clean twice a week, but I never seem to get the chance to appreciate it for as soon as she's finished it's a mess again.

I walked in and there were pots and pans everywhere, the lounge/come kitchen looked like a chinese laundry and it was just generally a right mess.  My hubby is great and does loads (probably more than me). However, the kids still beleieve that there is a cleaning up fairy, who is there to follow them around at their beck and call.  I'm hoping they will grow out of it, but by then they will have probably (hopefully) all have left home by then.
With a little time to think, I started to worry about my eldest.  Tomorrow he should be booking his flight to Thailand and within a couple of days he will be gone.  I know I complain about his untidiness.  The song 'Beautiful' by Christina Aguerila always reminds me of him.  Since he was about 10 years old, I had constant battles with him about cutting his hair and his general appearance.  But as he grew into a teenager, (as with all teenagers) he had his own mind and his own look.  He is a very handsome young man but I usually call him 'Stig of the Dump'.  Nonetheless, he is a fantastic, caring, sensitive young man and I love him unconditionally.  Needless to say, like any mother would do, I worry about him and how he will cope in Thailand. 
At 23, I'm sure he'll have great fun and I know this is the right time for him.  He needs a break, to 'find himself', to explore and see the world.  God knows, he might stay there 3 months then move on somewhere else.  All I want is for him to be safe.  I know it won't be easy when he goes out there to keep in touch (especially at first) but I will NEED to now he's OK.  He has promised to keep up with his blog jamesclark365.blogspot.com and therefore has no excuse.  (check out the home made video from his good friend about my son's recent heartbreak)

What's worse is I actually don't know when I will see him again, and that's what I'm finding the hardest.  It's been really nice having him back at home for the past couple of weeks.  Even though he hasn't lived with us for about 2 years, it hasn't been that hard as he has only been 1.5 hrs away.  But for now, I am trying not to think about it too much.  When the time comes for him to board the plane, I am sure I'll be a gibbering wreck (I cry at everything anyway, so this will be horrendous).  But he hasn't gone yet, so I will enjoy what time I have left before his big adventures.

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