The course of true love never did run smooth.

Today's blogg was going to be all about the fantastic night out last night I had at the Duran Duran concert.  However, as usual there's always a drama going on in my house, so I'm going to talk about that and that Duran Duran episode will come later.

At 46 years old, I had many ups and downs in my life especially when it comes to relationships.  When I was 17 I met my first husband and thought I was in love.  We were together for 12 years and he is the 'biologigical' father of my two fantastic sons. I highlight biological for many reasons which I wont go into now.

Anyway, almost 11 years ago I met my second husband who I adore with all my heart and know I could never live without, he is my soul mate.

Was it Shakespeare who said the 'course of true love never did run smooth' - My god how true was he?  During the period after my first husband I met some right plonkers and thought I would never be happy.  But eventually found my Mr Right :)

But this is not about me, I'm sorted and very happy.  What I'm now finding hard to deal with is my son's and their heartache.  I am very close to my sons and always have been.  They are my life, I worry about them all the time (some say a little too much) but that's a mother's job isn't it? 

So, my eldest has been living away from home for a few years, really since he was 18 as we moved to the Middle East and he stayed in the UK.  He came over a couple of times but it wasn't easy for him to find work, friends etc so he went back (which is another story).  Eventually 18 months ago, he came back and was given the opportunity to train as a diving instructor.  He's done fantastic and after only 6 months he was managing the dive centre he worked at.  That's where he met his first love.

She's older by 5.5 years, has been married and has a young child.  A bit of a mother's nightmare you might think, but honestly I thought she was great from the beginning.  To top it all she is beautiful and she COOKS lol.

I'd never seen him so happy, they were besotted with each other.  He's always been quite mature for his age, but he seemed to grow up more over night, having the responsibility of the dive centre and an almost instant family.  The only thing that was niggling at the back of my mind was could he support her?  She comes from a very wealthy Iranian family and is now still being supported by her father.  My son earns a pittance at the dive centre.  However, this didn't seem to bother her, she loved him for who he is not for his bank account.

In December he manged to take her and her son to Rome for her birthday, they couldn't have been happier, apparently they had the best time.  But by January it started to go wrong.

Over the past 2 months, things started going wrong and they split up because she said it wasn't going to work.  The first time, my son was devastated and so was I to be honest.  Many other people were shocked, it just seemed to come out of the blue.  One thing lead to another and they got back on track. Then they split again etc etc.   

In the meantime, he finds suddenly other men on the scene, older, richer, more powerful men who can obviously keep her in the lifestyle she is accustomed to.  One minute she tells him it's nothing and that they are 'just friends' the next minute one is asking to marry her.  You can imagine how my son felt, he didn't know what the hell to do, she hurt him so much.

But he's was in love and we all do stupid things when we're in love, so she tells him it's him she really wants and he believes her.  Again and again and in 2 months, they've split 4 times, to the point where he's now made a life changing decision to leave his job, and the UAE and go to Thailand, just to get away from it all (see his new blog) http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fjamesclark365.blogspot.com%2F&h=IAQFgr5ho

So, he has 2 weeks before he leaves for his new life (my god i will miss him soooooooo much).  She now decides she can't live without him, that she's made the biggest mistake of her life, how will she go on?  Yeah right.  They spent the day together yesterday and said that if it's meant to be, they'll find each other again in the future but for now they would spend their last few days together before he leaves for Thailand.

But at 4:30 am this morning, I received a call from my son, absolutely devastated.  He was driving the roads of Dubai in a right state, crying and heart broken (again).  Basically, she'd been out for the evening last night, but she'd been calling and texting him telling him she couldn't live without him and that she wanted to see him.  She said she would be home by 1 am, but by then the messages had stopped.  My son tried to call but no answer.  By 3 am he was out of his mind with worry (not sure where he gets that from lol).  So he drove to her house to find she was still out and her 4 year old son was at home with the nanny crying.

Eventually she arrived home in her car and was clearly under the influence.  Hmmm, that's responsible isn't it?  He said he'd been worried about her and she laughed in his face.  Suddenly telling him she'd kissed another man and that everything she had said and done over the past few months was a lie.  You can imagine anyone would be upset, they had a row and he grabbed her phone wanting to know who she had been speaking with.  To his horror he found numerous, very explicit text messages to other men.  What hurt the most was most of the messages where at the same time as when she's texting him declaring her undying love for him.

He was heartbroken, by then she had locked the doors and he was in the street banging on the door, damanding an explanation of which he didn't get.  So he drove home and had a big cuddle from his mum and we talked till the early hours of the morning.

It's so hard to see your own flesh and blood being hurt so much, I tried to comfort him as much as I could, but who knows how the path of true love ever runs smoothly?  and I'm certainly not an expert in the field.

After all this, what I am most mad about is the fact that this morning, she has the audacity to call me and tell me that he should keep away, that I should warn him off, that if it happens again she's call the police.  How dare she?  she causes all this heartbreak and crap and has the nerve to make it out as if my son is in the wrong.

Why do people do this?  Why not just admit it's over and move on?  It's cruel, life is cruel.  If anyone out there reading this blog finds themselves in a similar position (and I'm sure there are many of you), Please be honest to yourself and be honest to your partner.  Don't drag it out, don't cause more hurt.  Get out, move on, be true!

As a mother I want to scream and shout and hurt this woman like she's hurt my son. But what good will it do? Nothing, he'll learn from this experience, I can't be sure if it won't happen again, but whatever, it'll make him stronger I know that and I'll always be there for him.